Outta the way world, Dunkin Donuts Has Pumpkin Iced Coffee Again!

Nothing makes an angry receptionist, slightly happier, then pumpkin flavored coffee from Dunkin Donuts.

On another note, it's another lovely day at the office.

One of my recent posts was about how clients will call IMMEDIATELY after sending me an e-mail.

Well sometimes, it works in reverse, where I will e-mail someone, and they are IMMEDIATELY calling me after they get (or do not) get my e-mail.

I e-mailed a client back this morning, and within 5 minutes, this girl (I stress girl, because women act like grown adults), was asking me the same question she asked in the e-mail.

Me: "I just e-mailed you back a few minutes ago, you can go ahead and check it and get back with me."

Girl: "Ok...What did it say?"

 

 

Me: ".........Please hold."

 

It's at this point that I had to put this call on hold so I could go to my happy place. Usually my happy place is me, driving down the express way with my windows down. There are no other cars on the road, and I'm listening to Creedance Clearwater. Not sure where I'm going, but when I get there, there will be a giant, iced cold beer waiting for me...

 

...then I come back to reality. "IT SAID..." and I read the stupid e-mail to her. Although this e-mail requires an E-MAILED response, she proceeds to answer the questions over the phone. I explain to her that I need her to answer my questions via E-MAIL...

 

Girl: "Ok...so I have to reply to your e-mail?"

 

 

A Frequent Conversation

Conversation between a client and I:

Client: "Hi, I just need the general information about the business"

Me: "Ok, you can go ahead and send me an e-mail and I can send you our
brochure."



Client: "Ok...(10 second pause)...what am I supposed to e-mail you?"







Me: "...."

Me: "Just an e-mail stating what you are requesting..."

Client: "Oh......So....Just send you an e-mail telling you that I need the general information about the business?"

Me:

"I don't have an appointment, so I'm going to sit on your front porch until you let me in"

Since we have such a strict policy of "no walk-in appointments", we get at least 8-10 a month, if not more.

They always have driven from some far off land and when we try to explain to them that we do not allow walk-ins, we always get this:

They are so confused.

Why is this such a hard concept to understand? If you don't have an appointment, you can't talk to anyone. Done deal. If you don't know how to request an appointment, then you do not deserve one at all.

Instead of accepting that they have made a mistake, instead, they sit down, make themselves comfy and stare at us. Or they will call a relative and make very indirect complaints about the situation at hand. It's always OUR fault when they show up unannounced, after driving 480 miles because we didn't get their e-mail from 6 minutes ago.

More than likely, a one time offense will be given a warning and they will be met with.

But sometimes, if the unannounced individual is being particularly rude about this, we will ask them to leave. Which naturally, they will refuse, and sit on the nearest seat like object. Whether it be a plant, or the floor, or somewhere else that would offer their ass a seat of somesort.

We had a situation today in which one of the girls asked some people to leave and come back in an hour when the person they wanted to see was available, because they did not have an appointment. They refused of course and just continued to sit and watch her each her lunch. She told them they were being rude, so they reluctantly moved out of that area and decided to stand in front of the front door. You know, the door that goes in and out of the office? Where Fed Ex, UPS, other employees, and WELCOMED guests go in and out? Yeah, right there. I again, told them that they needed to come back in an hour. 

Her response, "It's too hot to sit in my car"

Yet, her kids were out in the car sleeping! So, is that child endangerment then?

Although we work in a congested area, littered with fast food places, so they could easily leave, go grab some food and come back, they insisted on then moving out to the front porch. So it's too hot to sit in your car, but not too hot to sit in the blazing sun on our front porch with your kids trapped in your car?

Brilliant.

"Hi, I just e-mailed you, but I'm calling to tell you what was in the e-mail"

On a daily basis, I get these long biographical, e-mails, usually equipped with a series of bulleted questions for me to waste a bunch of time answering.

The reason I say this is a "waste" instead of saying that I'm helping, is because when you send the required information, broken down into categories to the person first, and then they send back these e-mails asking the same exact questions that you just PRE-answered, it is indeed, a waste of time.  Basically they are just saying they are too lazy to read it and want you to point out all the important parts.

However, my favorite has to be that after you receive these nonsensical bulleted anecdotes, not more then 6 seconds later, the phone is ringing. As a receptionist, working in the same place for so long, we start to just know. I just know it's that same person on the other end of that dreaded phone line. It's like that stupid dramatic chipmunk when the phone starts ringing...and then they ask that question we all loathe so much...

"Did you get my e-mail?"

I swear the phrase "Did you get my e-mail?" echoes in my brain sometimes to the point where I'm waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, dramatically tumbling out of bed, and screaming, "DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL!?" My husband won't even sleep in the bed anymore. He's scared of my nightly, e-mail-related night terrors and shacks up on the couch with the cats. It's resorted to my husband sleeping with cats. It's just not right.

FOR SHIT'S SAKE! Why must you insist on calling to tell me this pointless piece of information?

The next crap to come exploding out of their mouths is "I sent it 6 minutes ago". If any of you have Microsoft Outlook, you know that the refresh is done automatically every 30-60 minutes, depending on what you have it set on. There is no 6 minute refresh interval time, unless you do it manually, which I most certainly do not do out of sheer will.

After they've gotten that out of the way, and I respond with (while readying myself to jump out the nearest window) "Not yet, but I will e-mail you back as soon as I am able too."

I always get this next, "Do you know when you are going to read it?"

Seriously? Why do I even have to honor that with a response? As if I am a psychic with a crystal ball where a printer should be and I can foresee the exact time and date, down to the second, of when I will be reading your e-mail with my eyeballs.

"Why yes sir, I will be reading your e-mail at 4:03pm, Eastern time, on August 6, 2013, with 10 seconds to spare". What then, I ask? WHAT, THEN?

So, when I finally tell them an approximated guess of an answer, they will then proceed to read me the body of the e-mail. I'm sitting there, eyes glazing over, traveling into another dimension. When they are finished, I just say, 'Ok, when I get to your e-mail I will write you back".

WHAT....WAS THE POINT OF THAT?

You see?